|Fraudulent Claim Creators get Compensation
- 31.01.04 Employees of Britain's largest claims management company get £4million in compensation:
The much publicised sacking of over 2,500 staff members via text message was the first indication to the public that The Accident Group was not all it was cracked up to be. Along with the thousands of victims who lost money in unpaid compensation claims, the tax payer is now being asked by the TUC to...
Christ in Court
- 14.06.04 Jesus sues Catholic church for defamation:
In an unprecedented move by the leader of any corporation, Jesus Christ (address unknown) has filed a lawsuit against the Catholic church for 'defamation of character'. In a press release the divine one's lawyer told reporters:
"This case is really more about distinguishing between the ...
The Day After The Day After Tomorrow the Lawsuits Begin
- 19.12.04 Roland Emmerich to pay $550million in compensation for "The Day After Tomorrow" fraud:
In light of the leaked document stating that Roland Emmerich, the writer and director of the film The Day After Tomorrow, had paid 11 researchers $300,000 each (about £160,000) to make up reports about climate change that validated his movie several months before it's release, the industry watchdog h...
Well Cilla, I'm Going to Pick No. 13289
- 14.02.05 David Blunkett to pay £120,000 in blind date scandal:
The former Home Secretary, David Blunkett, has been found guilty of defrauding 24 women and ordered to pay each £5,000 in compensation.
In December 2004, just months after the highly publicised split from his three year affair with Kimberly Fortier, the heart broken Labour MP hit on a nove...
Like a Virgin, Sue After Your Very First Time
- 15.04.05 After Malaysian Wife sues for loss of virginity, UK braces for impact:
The landmark case of a wife who sued her soon-to-be-ex-husband for half a million pounds for the un-necessary loss of her virginity was not reported widely in the UK, but word has slowly spread and government officials are unsure just how to proceed as injured hymen cases start to trickle into the co...
Freedom of Speech in a Catch 22
- 21.02.06 Publishers of Catch 22 sue the English speaking world for trademark infringement:
Lawyers for Simon & Schuster, the original publishers of the Joseph Heller novel Catch 22, have filed simultaneous lawsuits in the 79 english speaking countries across the globe to try and stop the use of the phrase "Catch 22" in any form of media.
"It was quite flattering to the both t...
Abuser Keeps Abusing
- 14.03.06 Paedophile wins £107,500 in compensation from children he abused:
The case has been called 'disgusting', 'utterly baseless' and 'the downfall of justice' but no judge has been able to overturn the ruling that 43 children abused by Stan Wilminstot are ordered to pay £2,500 each in compensatory damages to their abuser. One mother told us:
- 01.10.06 Family of Steve Irwin Crocodile Hunter sue Bloodhound Gang's Producers:
In a move not seen since the days of Ozzy listener's suicides, the family of Steve Irwin, famous for his TV show crocodile hunter, are suing the record label of the "verbally obnoxious" rock band the Bloodhound Gang. They state that as Steve's own ratings fell he became obsessed with climbing back in...
UK Booze & Cigarettes Moving to the Black Market
- 05.10.06 Alcohol and Tobacco petitioning to become illegal substances in the UK:
In the wake of the lawsuit by Steve Irwin's family against The Bloodhound Gang, alcohol and tobacco producers have piggybacked the tragic death of the beloved animal chasing icon in an awkward attempt to circumvent the numerous lawsuits against them in courts across the world. A spokesperson for the ...
Climate Change Debate Heats Up
- 21.10.06 Outrage as lawsuit against global warming scientists fails:
Although there was a suspicious lack of coverage by most media corporations, the class action lawsuit against 117 named scientists in the UK was followed intently by both sides of the argument. After the controversial ruling was made to dismiss the case, lawyers for the plaintiff announced:
Compensation Bills to be Approved
- 04.11.06 Government plans to introduce a compensation bill to get their piece of the pie:
Tired of lawyers and company directors sucking all the milk from the compensation cash cow, the government is to introduce the 'Compensation Bill'. This bill will be sent to every claims management company that deals with personal injury compensation claims in the UK. Depending on how large the firm ...
The Yanks are coming
- 01.12.06 Walmart's purchase of leading claims management companies hailed as genius:
The move by Walmart (owner of the Asda chain) to purchase the top eleven claims management companies and law firms in the UK has been called "genius" by their rivals Tesco and Morrisons. With each having to shell out millions in compensation every year for slips and trips in their supermarkets the no...
Public demands compensation for Trident
- 01.01.07 UK Public demands refund after Trident missile defense system declared pointless:
In light of the recent leaked documents by the Ministry of Defence there has been a public outcry regarding the billions wasted on defence. Though many are concerned with the global impact an admission of this magnitude will have, at home people seem more concerned with the money that has, essentiall...
Compensation claims off the leash
- 21.03.07 Dog owner successfully sues the person his dog bit:
In a landmark case the owner of a Lhasa Apso that bit a neighbour has won £32,000 in compensation ... from the person the dog bit! Strange though it may sound to you and I, the victim of the original bite was even more perplexed:
"I can't believe it, I was awarded only £1,700 for the lo...
Deadly Game of TAG
- 29.05.07 Director of The Accident Group dies in twist of fate:
Mark Langford, known for his notorious role as the founder of The Accident Group, has died in a car accident whilst hiding from British authorities in Spain.
His former company collapsed in 2003 when 2,500 staff were famously sacked by text message as he and his wife ran off to Spain with ...
- 01.06.07 Smoking Cancer risk figures are deemed misleading - does anyone care?:
Despite the numerous documentaries and fictional films about the tobacco industry, often portraying them as less than forthcoming when it comes to the truth, many still whole heartedly believe the studies and data produced by tobacco firms in regards to the dangers of smoking. Even now with the most ...
No Noose Still Bad News
- 05.07.07 Man arrested for offering his friend a cigarette:
With the introduction of the Suicide Act 1961, which de-criminalized the act of suicide, laws regarding assisting someone's in their own suicide were clarified:
"A person who aids, abets, counsels or procures the suicide of another, or an attempt by another to commit suicide, shall be l...
Self Employment Far Too Taxing
- 13.08.07 New Tax Evasion loophole deemed "unsavoury" but "completely legal":
Unhappy with the 40% tax rate imposed on him as a sole proprietor, David Scanlon of Peterhead, Scotland decided to take advantage of the lax compensation regulations to join the many people in the UK living off lump sums provided tax free through lawsuits against their employers. In an interview he r...
- 14.08.07 Designer in court over size discrimination:
The fashion world is still quaking in it's fluffy boots after last week's test case against a clothes home shopping catalogue was granted a continuance to obtain more evidence. The claimant, who cannot be named for fears of reprisal from fashion models, has to be measured by the defence team's own gr...
Crisps Making Alot of Noise
- 21.11.07 KitKat Lawsuit fails despite "obvious merit":
Though not surprised by the ruling, lawyers for the claimant announced they, and their client, were shocked that their secondary aim was not recognised by lawmakers:
"Nestle marketing their KitKat product as a light, tasty snack is simply unacceptable when other snack items like crisps ...
Pre-Injury Asteriod Compensation Claims
- 01.12.07 First ever pre-injury compensation claims flooding in as asteroid heads toward earth:
Until now, in the UK, everyone has been happy with the concept that you have to be injured first before you can obtain compensation. But with the asteroid Apophis hurtling toward earth people are starting to feel that the law needs an overhaul. We spoke to one family man (who wishes to remain anonymo...
Science vs Religion War Over
- 15.01.08 After widespread petitioning science now classed as a religion:
In a daring move to avoid further lawsuits, leaders in the science community have petitioned to be classed as a religion. After more than three years of litigation over their climate change theories the move has been welcomed by scientists who are tired of spending their days in court:
Lawyering Up is Britain's Best Defence
- 03.02.08 UK Defence Budget cancelled in favour of more lawyers:
It will start with the Trident missile systems and end with the cleaning staff at the MOD, but within the next five years every part of the UK defence network will be dismantled in favour of more modern defence weapons - lawyers.
A high ranking naval officer (who wishes to remain anonymous...
Love, Cherish, Honour & Obey your Fanaticism
- 15.04.08 Archbishop of Canterbury kicked to death in "honour killing":
Despite the outrage caused by the Archbishop's comments regarding the integration of Sharia Law in the UK, no extra security was provided for the religious leader. A fault that has sparked investigation into police handling of the matter. Lord Harken, who will be leading the inquiry, spoke at a press...
A Prime Number
- 01.05.08 Tony Blair to receive £297,000 in compensation?:
The general figures pushed out by the Labour government inform us that stabbings and other violent crimes are down since they came into power in 1997. But opposition leaders have recently lashed out after Home Office figures pointed to an actual 25% rise
in stabbings in the same time period. D...
Gimme Sama That Money
- 22.05.08 Osama Bin Laden found in northern Afghanistan - will stand trial in the US:
Osama Bin Laden has been found in a camp just outside of Kabul by a team of six New York lawyers. Bin Laden is the founder of the organization Al-Qaeda which was blamed by the American Government for the September 11th attacks on US buildings in 2001.
After seven years of waiting for US m...