Walmart's purchase of leading claims management companies hailed as genius:

The move by Walmart (owner of the Asda chain) to purchase the top eleven claims management companies and law firms in the UK has been called "genius" by their rivals Tesco and Morrisons. With each having to shell out millions in compensation every year for slips and trips in their supermarkets the novel idea was hit on by Walmart's recent acquisition, and new CEO, Suyu Foli Ing, former head of military intelligence in China. A spokesperson for the company announced at a press conference:

"Currently we spend millions each year on the legal fees of claimants who use extortionately priced lawyers for the simplest of claims. It was an obvious cost cutting move that should have been made years ago."

Although controversial that a chain should wish to have it's own lawyers representing both the claimant and the defendant in future lawsuits against them there is a certain logic to the move as the head of the Ministry of Justice clarified:

"We have been searching for a way to bring down the cost of compensation for years quite unsuccessfully. With this (Walmart's new setup) you can see that legal bills for compensation claims in the UK will be halved automatically. It will bring down insurance premiums and relieve the already overstretched court system in the UK as we would imagine the lawyers will rather settle with themselves than drag themselves through court. We hope that other large brands follow in Walmart's footsteps and buy up all the remaining law firms as quickly as possible."

Naturally people are afraid that they will not get the level of compensation they normally would if they were to use a firm other than Walmart's to pursue their injury claim. Walmart hoped to set aside these fears stating:

"As with every other of Walmart's business moves, we intend the savings to be passed on the consumer. You may get considerably less compensation than you are due, but just watch the price of baked beans fall."